Psychoanalytical essay with therapeutic antidotes.

              (updated version. 05/10/2014)Image

Life, from anecdotal evidence and empirical point of view, is mainly shaped by three kinds of factors, experiences, observations and genetic/ innate traits. Which may be further explicated as follows.  Sensory experience is immediate and all encompassing. Thought process operates selectively or even seemingly arbitrarily. Experience through mental (imaginative) visualization is narrower but more focused. Emotions are instantaneous. Mood lasts longer. Traits are longer lasting still.

 

Before we get consumed into the detailed discussion of the subject we must understand two basic misconceptions and the distorted framework within which we operate.

1-    The dependence on fellow human beings.  Human beings, as a first-hand experience, have been habituated dealing with the fellow human beings extensively. Therefore, everything is expected of one and other rather than any other entity. Although we know that the ultimate Provider is the Creator, yet expect each other to come to help. The simple reason is that this is the only experience we have.

We, therefore, need a fundamental paradigmatic change. In our perceptual cognition we have to perpetuate the ultimate provider as the primary provider. We ought to understand, that the other human beings, are the means and not the source. This conceptual change will save us from numerous disappointments and sour relationships.

2-    We expect immediate results.  We are enmeshed in fast paced life with quick outcomes therefore, any delay is certain to gives rise to doubts and suspicions. Sustained effort is the human obligation whereas results are His domain and will. If the results are delayed let Nature take its course. Patience is a virtue. Time is not only the healer but solution to many problems as well.

 

These processes, which influence our lives so immensely, may be either cognitive or emotional.  These may be either first person perspectives or the third person perspectives.   These may be either objective experiences or subjective experiences.  (Technical and linguistic jargons, as far as possible, would be avoided to keep this essay lucid, restricting it to empirical observations and possible remedies).

 

 

Negative aspects such as fears, failures or unsuccessful endeavors are major entropic elements in personality formation. There is always a fear of failure which often displays vividly in dreams and is broadly manifested throughout our lives. We are a construct of our own brain and, through our body language and behavior, are walking manifestation of it. Someone or something is always there that is frightful and chasing.  In most cases it is the haunting sense of guilty conscience. This guilt may be factual or made to believe so.

 

 

Intrinsic-attractiveness(attachment) & Intrinsic-Unattractiveness(Aversion).

Our obvious belief in intrinsic existence of things ushers our deluded attachment to them. It is our self perpetuating dysfunction while dealing with the realities of the world.By according intrinsic properties of attractiveness we react to some objects and events or people with deluded attachment. On the other   hand we accord intrinsic properties of unattractiveness resulting in deluded aversion. Intrinsic properties could only be attached to a thing having disconnected and independent existence.  God only, as for as the cause of His being is concerned, fits the definition. He is uncaused. On the other hand He is the cause of everything. Therefore, created things cannot be intrinsic by design.

 

Love                     (Psycho-sophically speaking)

It is twitching of the brain, impulsive vibrations translating into emotive feelings yearning for the satisfaction of lust or instinct. It has beginning and end, it is ephemeral. It may, however, be fractional constituent of the true whole, which we were inculcated with before being descended into temporality.  Buried in sub-conscious, it is clamoring to reach its Zenith in perpetuity. True love with fellow human beings is improbable, but an instinctual bonding; which cannot be classed as love. Love could only exist between God and (Creation) human. This love, if true, would require human to lose his “self” or else it would simply be reverence. Temporally speaking, it is delusional attachment entailing unwholesomeness—self centeredness.

 

 

  1. (Psycho-sophically speaking)

Same emotive feelings (derivative-affliction) transform into superfluous ego which resort to retribution or aggression due to indelible scars on the mind. Negative memories stoke sense of deprivation or competitive disadvantage. When a spate of hatred is experienced; while enduring, viewing, facing some event or scene, is the reflection of this phenomenon. Lack of confidence which (is derivative of ignorance) also works as a catalyst. Certain Faces, events, or words; associated with negative memories may stem afflictive mental process thereby becoming catalyst for feelings of hate. At times it may just be the disadvantaged position, against which extreme disgust is exhibited. At other, it may be the satisfaction of spuriously inflated ego through display of the expression that I am better suited for the position or situation in which the other person is. It is jealousy factor which usually stems from inferiority complex. It might have been infused by the situational disadvantage which is being played out. When one is caught up in distorted mind-set, loses self control and renders his perspective narrower; this situation is displayed.

 

The influences of the formative period are very crucial. Archetypes, Heroes and villains are of huge relevance. Human traits are overwhelmingly shaped around these characters. Sense of liking and disliking may similarly be shaped around peers, parents, cultures. It may even be genetic; often confused with innate traits. These influences become the determinant of the trajectory of lives and hallmarks of personalities. This behavior, just because of some chance semblance, plays out even against those whom one has never met. To remedy one must delve into the past; which most probably would be the moot point for such a behavior. Correct identification and then acknowledgement of the causes is the key to remedy.

 

Anxiety, Sudden Burst, Spate of Anger, Snapping.

All these behavioral expressions are product of afflictive mental process or derivatives thereof called-derivative afflictions. The reasons for these situations are not different from those mentioned above. However, some of these conditions are more intense and could be harmful; in terms of health, self infliction or the violence meted out to others. Snapping and sudden bursts reflect the tipping point in one’s state of mind. The cause of this behavioral pattern may be certain words, expression of dominance, threat, insult, humiliation, Helplessness, fear of loss of face or integrity. It has become norm; given the present socio-economic conditions and the prevalence of self righteousness, that people lose equanimity and become ensnarled in rash behavior. Sometimes it is termed as -”Anxiety attack”. If this behavior is not checked properly and timely, it could entail wide ranging complications.  

 

Negativity, Bitterness.

It stems from the deprivation, non achievement which may be due to lack of the opportunities which keep one deprived of possible achievement or excellence. These may be destined due to surrounding milieu or forced upon by others. It pervades in class bifurcated societies where the inculcated hatred against the better off provides a feeding ground. When someone better-off or seemingly so is seen in an uneven environ, the reaction of worse-off shows up in change of countenance, negative/abusive comments or manhandling etc. Remedy! Once the reason is understood and acknowledged, it becomes easy to deflect the spate of rage. Identification and Acknowledgement are a panacea.

 

Fear of Poverty, Deprivation.

Past experience of deprivation or poverty leaves indelible scars on human mind. It is immensely detrimental and forces one, according to axiom, to even forsake his core belief. It has exoteric and esoteric dimensions. It is a duel between firm belief and logical (at times even illogical) reasoning. The conclusion depends on one’s conviction and level-headedness. Here, I may take the liberty to lean towards esoteric side and would like to postulate that we human do not have much of latitude (free Will) therefore rightfully succumb to destiny. I would therefore, unflinchingly, affirm my belief in destiny. It preempts all apprehensions of poverty and deprivation. Peace and tranquility lies in frictionless smooth sailing. Go with the flow, do what He makes us do. One would become fearlessly brave. Bitterness is often the result of sustained struggle to get out of the vicious life circle; it leaves a person perpetually prone to fear and bitterness at the muddled event horizon of life. Acceptance of predestination perhaps is the best remedy. Otherwise proper professional treatment would be best suggestion.

 

Panicking when faced with unexpected situation.

At times, it happens that one becomes agitated, defensive, apologetic or even aggressive, when faced with an unexpected situation. The reason often is unpreparedness which results in any of the situations described. Unpreparedness entails wide range of causes; it may be that one is not having an appropriate answer to the question raised. One may not be having the knowledge of the topic raised or one may not be in a position to answer or explain in the existing situation. The worst could be the fear of losing one’s face and integrity.

The best remedy is that before embarking on any encounter one should make oneself ready for such a possibility with a suitable response. This process of forethought would muster confidence to face the situation and certainly provide a strong base to preempt if one needed to. This tactic may be tremendously beneficial   in boosting one’s confidence while saving face and integrity. A deep breath and a momentary thoughtful pause would also be helpful in recollecting oneself before offering an appropriate response. Honest solution nevertheless would be to thrash out the weaknesses and make them up. Always be well prepared.

 

Timidity or Pretentious behavior.

It happens that at the sight or presence of someone, a normal behavior is suddenly transformed into that of someone subdued, victimized, sick and suffering. A weaker posture is put-on to gain the attention or sympathy of the person who is targeted; apparently unconsciously but in fact as per well conceived and meditated plan. This plan is lurking somewhere in the back of one’s mind and is directing the formulated behavior. It is an endeavor to provide support to the weaknesses, fears,   apprehensions or vicissitudes one is harboring. It may also be to elicit the recognition of the created state of affairs or of the one actually faced which is not being sufficiently acknowledged.

The analysis of this kind of behavior would reveal that it emanates from lack of self respect and self confidence. This lacking compels the actor to seek out a suitable pivot to latch-onto. It is extremely despicable especially where one professes Taqwa (fear of the Creator) and Tawakkul (the dependence on the Creator). This lacking may be the result of over protected-childhood or the failures of succeeding life.  It is sheer lack of faith in the Creator and His providence. A strong sense of Self respect and self confidence would emerge once the belief in the Creator and its created destiny is ingrained. One can never get what is not intended for him and one can never miss what is meant for him. The boundaries of Destiny are un-traversable.

 

 

Always keep the window of better option open.

Regardless of what is being felt or thought; based on past experience, hunch or conviction, should not be conceived in absolute terms. The attitudes towards our conceived conclusions are so deterministic as if they are revelations from God. It recently transpired, to me personally, that despite strong feelings of an obvious negative outcome if way is given to better option, with sincerity and trust in God, it would turn out positive. It is the repudiation of my long habituated course of thought process. I am sure that opening of this new dimension is the bestowal of His mercy. It convinced me that there is always a possibility of a better outcome. One has to yearn for it. The initial faulty outcome may possibly be result of a glitch in thought process which stands rectified while transitioning to second thought or after thought. The fact remains! Give it a second thought, Keep the better option—always—open.

 Judgmental errancy.

Often than not, the initial judgment is normally faulty. The reason for that, most probably, is that it is formulated with mental impairment; caused due to the fog of instant reaction or spur of the moment. Therefore, it would always be prudent to revisit and recalibrate the initial judgment. One might be shockingly surprised to see how wrong the first impression (i.e. formulated judgment) was. One should always be generous and gracious towards the nominal aberrations of the subject while formulating a judgment. This is the trait of the men of God and has panoply of merits.

 

 

Mendacity (Oldest & Mother of all moral turpitudes)

This tendency was the very first step towards human indignation when Prophet Adam was lied to about the forbidden fruit. It unceasingly coagulates innumerable vices. Tendency to lie is a derivative of fear or greed. When a situation needs to be avoided or availed, while hiding the truth, use of an unwarranted lie comes handy. We have become complacently habituated for its huge efficacy. It is used extensively and fearlessly; without even a thought of any repercussion. This is temporary refuge in exchange for a huge penalty of sinking into the quagmire of lies. Old saying goes without saying that Honesty is the best policy.

 

 

Disclaimer: No responsibility is assumed as this essay does not offer any professional advice or treatment. Empirical observations if used would be at one’s own risk and responsibility.            Comments, critique, Questions could be directed at ruqaya@bellsouth.net

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