Archive for the ‘Psycho-sophy’ Category

What is a “Halala/Tahleel-marriage” in Islam?  

January 25, 2020

Image result for pic of a Muslim divorced couple?

Answered a question on Halala (briefly) on 01/15/2020 at Quora.com

Halala Also known as Tahleel Marriage” loosely means to “legitimize” something.

Most often, the concept of Halala” is misunderstood and misquoted by ignorant Muslims and Non-Muslims alike.

Halala is neither a convenience nor a short-cut to undo an irrevocable divorce; but a sort of punishment for the man, who has committed an abominable act without due diligence and deliberation. 

A woman will not become lawful for the first husband to marry again, had the second husband divorced her without consummating the marriage, even at his own free will.  Bukhaari (2639) and Muslim (1433) Narrated by Ayesha (r.a.a)

This matter ought to be looked at; bearing in mind; that the act of “Divorcing” though permissible, is considered the most despised act, by the Almighty!

Hadith. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah.” (Abu Dawud).

 These are the three most important verses in the Holy Qura’an; setting the principles and modalities of “Divorce” Tahleel-Marriage” and “Post-Tahleel-Behavior”, to be followed.

“And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things” [Q, 2:231]

“And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah (SWT). These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know” [Q, 2:230]

“And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis. That is instructed to whoever of you believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is better for you and purer, and Allah knows and you know not” [Q, 2:232]

It has been emphatically advised that the utterances of “Divorce” [talaq] should not be carried out in one go but in three stages, spanning through the duration of married life, known as (Talaq al-bayyina al-sughra) [agreed upon by the majority of scholars and schools]. Affording the couple at least two opportunities in their married life to reconsider their decision and re-unite (Raja’a), before it is too late, and the irrevocable divorce becomes established. (Talaq al-bayyina al-kubra)

Hadith. [Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported that the (pronouncement) of three divorces during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and that of Abu Bakr and two years of the caliphate of Umar (R.A. A) was treated as one. But Umar bin. Khattab (R.A.A) said: Verily the people have begun to hasten in the matter in which they are required to observe respite. So, if we had imposed this upon them, and he imposed it upon them]. Book 9, Number 3491.

NOTE: – Here, if a couple, after the first divorce, hasn’t re-united within the idda period, an irrevocable divorce would become established. They may, nevertheless, re-marry, with a fresh nikah. So, would they be entitled to, after the second divorce as well—either to re-unite before the expiration of the idda period or re-marry afresh after the lapse of idda-period. {re-union without nikah is available before the expiration of the idda period after all three divorces. The convenience of re-marrying after the lapse of third idda-period, however, would come to an END, and the compulsion of Tahleel-marriage would kick in. 

 

Divorce is of four kinds:  Ahsan, most laudableHasan, laudable, In-correct/irregular Bida’a and under duress Mukrah.

Talaq Ahsan–most laudable divorce–is where the husband repudiates his wife by making one pronouncement within the period of Tahr (purity–when the woman is neither menstruating nor having post-natal bleeding) and husband has not had sexual intercourse, and (after the utterance of “Talaq”) she is left to observe her ‘Idda waiting-period:-

Iddah. “Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. (Q, 2:228).  And as for pregnant women, their term shall end with delivery. (65:4).   And those among you who die and leave behind wives, (these wives) should keep themselves waiting for four months and ten days” (Q, 2:234).

Talaq Hasan–laudable divorce–is where a husband repudiates an enjoyed-wife (having had intercourse with) by three sentences of divorce, in three Tuhrs

Talaq Bida’a—irregular or In-correct divorce–is where a husband repudiates his wife by three utterances of “Divorce” (talaq) in one go. According to the majority of the jurists, the Divorce, though valid, is against the spirit of the Shari’ah, therefore, the man following this course would be a deviator in the eyes of Allah (SWT).

Talaq Mukrah–under duress.

“There are three things in which, not only the serious worlds but nonserious words would also count serious. 1) Nikah 2) Divorce 3) Emancipation of a slave. 4) Re-uniting (raja’a), by revoking the divorce. [Narrated by Abu Dawood and Tirmazi—category—good]

According to Imam Abu Hanifa, Nakhai, Qatadah,  Zuhri, and Al Sha’bi, the application of this hadith is restricted to the divorce under duress/compulsion. [discounting the consideration of the will and the intention]

Imam Shafai’i, Imam Ali Ibn Talib and Ibn Abbas, however, contended otherwise by citing another hadith;

“Removed are, from my Ummah, the consequences of acts done by mistake, in forgetfulness and under duress” [ Narrated by Tabarani and Thawhan—category—authentic]

Imam Abu Hanifa is of the view that the “exculpation” as per this hadith pertains to the hereafter, not this world.

Should this premise be admitted, then in my humble view, the consideration of the will and the intention will inevitably become pertinent and integral! Moreover, the intent/purport of the earlier narration seems to have a deterring-undertone (against a casual attitude in serious matters) rather than injunctive, which will satisfy the conciliatory-requisite for the accommodation of both the narrations.  Famous Hadith: “Actions are judged by the intentions” clearly support the argument. (Allah knows the best).

 Divorce initiated by a Woman. (khula)

The right of a woman in demanding the dissolution of marriage is known as “Khula (meaning, the putting off or taking off of a thing). It is a kind of facility/right provided to the wife in securing “Divorce” Talaq from her husband by returning a part or full amount of the bridal gift.

Hadith. ‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: When the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) was commanded to give option to his wives, he started it from me saying: I am going to mention to you a matter which you should not (decide) in haste until you have consulted your parents. She said that he already knew that my parents would never allow me to seek separation from him She said: Then he said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: Prophet, say to thy wives: If you desire this world’s life and its adornment, then come, I will give you a provision and allow you to depart a goodly departing; and if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter, then Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward She is reported to have said: About what should I consult my parents, for I desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter? She (‘A’isha) said: Then all the wives of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) did as I had done. [Book 9, Number 3498]

 

A desire to re-uniteONLYafter the third and final Divorce (irrevocable—talaq bayyina al-kubra), would necessitate the process of “Halala” or “Tahleel-marriage”

 

One may contend why the woman has to suffer for the fault of the man?

The logical answer is that; a man being the head of the family, custodian of the honor and the dignity, of the family, clan, tribe, etc. would psychologically suffer the most. The woman on the other hand (depending on the ex-husband’s overall behavior/treatment), may or may not like the apparently grotesque process of reunification with her first-husband. However, in all fairness, the woman not only gets re-instated in her status, but she also gets an opportunity extended, to prudently compare and evaluate the present and the past situations. If she feels comfortable and content with the present situation, she may avail of this opportunity and stay put, for she, having been repudiated, was disrespected, dishonored and belittled by her former husband!

Had the man been subjected to go through the process instead, it would have been rather a boon to him; as he is already allowed to marry up to four women. Instead of deterring it would have, most likely, incentivized him for his callous behavior to repeat!

Allah (SWT), is best of the psychologists, therefore, He has ordained the redress jolting the psychological reflexes of the man to the core.

 

Moreover, the woman here neither has the control (over the divorce), nor the obligation to go back to her former husband!

The second husband is also under no moral or legal obligation to divorce. Anyone who does so deliberately; to facilitate the return of the woman to her first husband, has been “cursed” by the Prophet (PBUH)} [Tahleel-marriage in such a situation would become “haram” Invalid]

Women having been endowed with unique temperamental flexibility in terms of the marital relationship by Allah (SWT), therefore, may not take long to adjust in a new situation,

“And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find tranquility in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect” [Q,30:21]

 

Divine injunctions, when analyzed from a secular or western frame of mind; often lacking the faith in the Divine will and wisdom, would neither make sense nor would lead to the right conclusion.

 

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Atheist/Denier/Unbeliever

June 24, 2018

Image result for pic of sign of atheism

It is always the sense of superiority (haughtiness) which keeps one from accepting the truth/reality (religion/God). Arrogance exuded from a false sense of wizardry, importance and indispensability become a reason for an incorrigible state of denial. It, however, logically, instantaneously pulls a denier to a lower level of intellect and rationality than the one who readily accepts the universal truth.

In selfish, materialistic, atheistic mode of thinking virtue becomes too fragile and feeble; the truth becomes too obscure and faint, to even register.

For the deniers of His signs, religion, prophets and books; Qura’an uses the word “Arzal”; which morphs into “razil”, “zalil”, “ardali”—lowly, mean, and disgraced etc.

Also Read:-

https://shakir2.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/scuttling-the-mental-capacity/

https://shakir2.wordpress.com/2015/07/23/a-reminder-for-the-deniersdisbelievers/

https://shakir2.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/reality-of-atheist/

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The face is the index of the mind

May 21, 2018

(First published on 9th Feb 2015 on FB)

Though it is a famous quote may warrant some explication. In general, good features of a person are presumed to be a sign of his or her being witty. It may be true in some cases but is not a rule of thumb. The probable reason for that is that such a person was lucky enough to have lived a comfortable and affluent life. (This might have contributed in sharpening his/her mental faculties).

A poor person, on the contrary, would normally be scathed by the bad times. Only Saints and Sufis would be able to endure such a torment without a scathe on their personality. An ordinary person often is affected so immensely that his whole personality would be disfigured reflecting itself in his every movement, let along his thinking. It would continue reflecting in his coming generations through mutilation of his genetic make-up. A redress would require several generations to pass enjoying comfort and affluence. Affluence is not the only but major factor. Freedom of thoughts and movements would rank 2nd in restoration.

It, however, does not mean that an ugly person cannot be witty. Such a person would normally develop some supplementary traits; exuding wit and garnering respectability, hence becoming likable. Some cosmetic changes in his/her overall demeanor might be helpful in amending the state of affairs. It could mean that such a person is on the accelerated track of recovery.

shakir2.wordpress.com

Behavior—Martyr/Damned-Sinner!

May 1, 2018

 

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A candle flame is a source of light and Charm. Its charm (light) continues spreading oblivious to the presence or absence of the lover—a moth. A moth under the spell of charm embraces it and gets annihilated; providing a momentary ecstasy (flare-up) to the beloved—flame, but fails to impress upon a change in its innate character. A moth, in the absence of the charm, however, gets relegated to the level of an ordinary insect. The one, who shows respect and reverence from a distance; without being burnt, unfortunately, would never attain the esteemed martyrish status of the moth.

This “Martyrish” status of a moth, however, would transform into that of a “sinner” when his behavior is replicated by a human being. “The one who; embraces the Hell-fire; releasing the grip of the Prophet’s (PBUH) hand on his belt, would be a damned sinner”(Hadith).

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Hope and Prayer

February 19, 2018

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Hope is an instinctive impulse of a rational being. Prayer is an actualization thereof by ardently imploring (hoping from) the Supreme Being (God). Both, in tandem, are activated by human free-will*1. A prayer, even by a Non-Believer, (Q, 10:11)*2 is not a futile but fruitful activity. Hope and Prayer are mutually inclusive hence cannot be counterproductive.

*1According to St. Plotinus sin is a consequence of free-will. In Islamic parlance; good choice is reward-worthy while bad choice is blame-worthy; for it becomes a tool or source of evil (Satan).

*2It may however be dashed due to one’s disbelief(Q, 4:104) Yet a prayer made in distress would be heard.

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Love!

January 17, 2018
love

Temporal Love

Love (Psychosophically speaking–Temporal)

It is twitching of the brain, impulsive vibrations translating into emotive feelings yearning for the satisfaction of lust or instinct. It has beginning and end, it is ephemeral. It may, however, be a fractional constituent of the true whole, which we were inculcated with before being descended into temporality. Buried in sub-conscience, it is clamoring to reach its Zenith in perpetuity. True love with fellow human beings is improbable, but an instinctual bonding; which cannot be classed as love. Love could only exist between God and (Creation) human. This love, if true, would require human to lose his “self” or else it would simply be reverence. Temporally speaking, it is delusional attachment entailing unwholesomeness—self-centeredness. [Allah/God, nowhere in the entire Qura’an, used the word “Love” for His creation]

Image result for pic of the parts of the brain affected by spiritual experienceLOVE (Theosophically Speaking–Spiritual)

Most of us observe servitude, whereas love is a gift endowed only to far and few between like, Yazid Bastami and Rabia Basri. (frenzied) Even Prophets do not seem to be the recipient of the gift of love since they are entrusted with the obligations and responsibilities of Prophet-hood. They cannot afford the ecstasy of an endowment of love by neglecting their primal obligation towards their people/Ummah. They are however accorded with the highest echelon of spiritual rank, immunity from all evils, and guidance through direct and indirect means.

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Knowledge/Restraint/Reward.

December 30, 2017

«Dios, inspirador y autor de ambos Testamentos, dispuso las cosas tan sabiamente que el Nuevo Testamento está latente en el Antiguo y el Antiguo está patente en el Nuevo

Qaroon (Korah), possibly the cousin of Prophet Musa (Moses) and Haroon (Aaron) Was so rich that even the keys of the safes were heavy for a group of very strong people.
This buried wealth he found, probably was that of Prophet Yousuf (Joseph).
Qaroon got proud of it and started harassing his people. His people warned him of his misbehavior.

He said, “I have this wealth because of my KNOWLEDGE”
People envious and desirous of worldly comforts acclaimed “Ah! Wish we could get wealthy like him. He sure is a lucky man” Qaroon (Korah) was swallowed by earth because he became ingrate.
People of KNOWLEDGE affirmed, Allah’s REWARD is much superior to worldly riches and is given to—true-believers, righteous and those who exercise RESTRAINT.

Now here are few lessons to be learned.
KNOWLEDGE is not a reason/basis for sustenance or wealth, but for steadfastness/perseverance.
RESTRAINT from indulging in forbidden things as— Wine, Women (except wives) reason for ZUHD. Allah’s REWARD for, who observe piety, good deeds, true belief, righteousness & RESTRAINT.
FURQAN (capacity to distinguish between good and bad) could be yet another SPECIAL FAVOR.
Qura’an (Surah Al Qasas V 76-80)

Originally published… 02/12/2015

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Needless (Poor) king of the Kings!

December 24, 2017

The one who is, selfless and sincere to the purpose of life; goodness towards others and, obedience to the Creator. He would never have to question anyone’s intention or motive for he is free of the expectations and needs. Sin (covetousness) is the destruction of the station of the needless. Needless (Poor) is the king of the Kings; for the covetousness and expectations are his slaves, and the Kings are slaves of their covetousness and expectations.

He (PBUH) said, “Have no desire for this world, Allah will love you; have no desire for what people possess, people will love you.” [Ibn Majah]

In the world of selfishness and materialism virtue becomes too feeble to even register.

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Are Ahadith (Word of God)?

December 13, 2017

There is a widespread misconception/disinformation about the Ahadith: in the minds of not only the Non-Muslims but also some Muslims, as if they are purely the personal utterances of the Prophet (PBUH); devoid of Divine sanction, hence not to be taken seriously as the Holy Qura’an. Ahadith and Sunnah constitute; the second most important source of Islamic teachings, explanation and practical manifestation, and an integral part of the Islamic Belief. [By denying/ignoring Ahadith and Sunnah one cannot claim to be following the Prophet, as ordained in the Holy Qura’an repeatedly.                    (Obey Allah and Obey the Prophet) (Q, 4:59)

Qura’an has been referred to as the Book (of Wisdom and Guidance) while the Ahadith and Sunan as “Hikmah” (Wisdom of Explanation/Presentation). (Q, 4:113)

Your companion [Muhammad] has not strayed, nor has he erred, nor does he speak from [his own] inclination. It is not but a revelation revealed, Taught to him by one intense in strength. (Q, 53:2–5)

 There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and (who) remembers Allah often. (Q, 33:21)

{Here Allah (SWT) has urged/directed believers to emulate the Prophet (PBUH) in seeking reward from Allah (SWT); while making it incumbent upon believers, to follow the prophet in his words and deeds}

 An esoteric/ delicate difference here, however, MUST be explained that the words of the Holy Qura’an and their meanings both are revelations’ from Allah(SWT)—called “Wahii-Mutloo”(recited). Ahadith, on the other hand, are the words of the Prophet (PBUH) but the meanings of Allah (SWT)—called “Wahii-Gher-Mutloo” (un-recited).

 Hopefully, this substantiated explanation, will clarify the immitigable position of Ahadith and Sunnan and put any doubts to rest. (Given the cognizance of human fallibility factor; in relaying a hadith wrongly, in altered form or with a broken chain of narrators etc; all Ahadith had been extensively scrutinized and categorized accordingly by the eminent scholars). Many liberals, agnostics, and non-believers, regardless, will still exploit this human fallibility factor to justify their doubts or ignorance.

MAY ALLAH (SWT) KEEP US ALL ON THE STRAIGHT-PATH.

 

Psychoanalytical essay with therapeutic antidotes

December 5, 2017

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Life, from anecdotal evidence and empirical point of view, is mainly, shaped by three kinds of factors; experiences, observations and genetic/ innate traits. Which may be further explicated as follows. Sensory experience is immediate and all-encompassing. Thought process operates selectively or even seemingly arbitrarily. Experience through mental (imaginative) visualization is narrower but more focused. Emotions are instantaneous. Mood lasts longer. Traits are longer lasting still.

These processes, which influence our lives so immensely, may be either cognitive or emotional, first-person perspectives or the third person perspectives, objective experiences or subjective experiences.

Before we get consumed into the detailed discussion of the subject we must understand two fundamental misconceptions and the distorted framework within which we operate.

1-    The dependence on fellow human beings.  Human beings, as a first-hand experience, have been extensively habituated to dealing with the fellow human beings. Therefore, everything is expected of one another. Although we know that the Creator is the ultimate sustainer, still expect fellow human beings to come to help. The simple logical reason is that this is the only experience we have.

We, therefore, need a fundamental paradigmatic change. In our perceptual cognition, we have to perpetuate the ultimate sustainer as the primary sustainer as well. We ought to understand, that the other human beings are the means and not the source. This conceptual change will save us from numerous disappointments and sour relationships.

2-    We expect immediate results.  We are enmeshed in fast-paced life with quick outcomes therefore, any delay is certain to give rise to doubts and suspicions. Sustained effort is the human obligation whereas results are His domain. Where results are delayed patience need be observed. Let Nature take its course. Patience is a virtue. Waiting with patience is worship.

Negative aspects such as fears, failures, rejection are major entropic elements in personality development. There is always a fear of some kind which often displays vividly in dreams and is broadly manifested throughout our lives. We are a construct of our own brain and, through our body language and behavior, are walking manifestation of it. Someone or something is always there that is frightful and chasing.  In most cases, it is a haunting sense of guilty conscience. This guilt, however, may not always be factual.

Intrinsic-attractiveness(Attachment) & Intrinsic-unattractiveness(Aversion).

Our obvious belief in the intrinsic existence of things ushers our deluded attachment to them. It is our self-perpetuating dysfunction while dealing with the realities of the world. By according intrinsic properties of attractiveness we react to some objects, events or people with deluded attachment. On the other hand, we accord intrinsic properties of unattractiveness resulting in deluded aversion. Intrinsic properties could only be attached to things having disconnected and independent existence.  God only, as for as the cause of His being is concerned, fits the definition. He is uncaused. On the other hand, He is the cause of everything. Therefore, created things cannot be intrinsic by design.

Love                     (Psycho-sophically speaking)

It is twitching of the brain, impulsive vibrations translating into emotive feelings yearning for the satisfaction of lust or instinct. In pathology, this process is described “Epiphenomenalism”. It has beginning and end, it is ephemeral. It may, however, be a fractional constituent of the true whole (refuted in secular pathology) which we were inculcated with before being descended into temporality.  Buried in sub-conscious, it is clamoring to reach its Zenith in perpetuity. True love with fellow human beings is improbable. It is an instinctual bonding. It cannot be classed as love. Love could only exist between God and (Creation) human. This love, if true, would require human to lose his “self” or else it would simply be reverence. Temporally speaking, it is deluded attachment entailing unwholesomeness— self-centeredness.

Hate.                    (Psycho-sophically speaking)

Same emotive feelings (derivative-affliction) transform into superfluous ego which resorts to retribution in pursuit of healing the indelible scars on the mind. Negative memories stoke sense of deprivation or competitive disadvantage. When a spate of hatred is experienced while enduring, viewing, facing some event or scene, is the reflection of this phenomenon. Lack of confidence which (is derivative of ignorance) also works as a catalyst. Certain Faces, events, or words; associated with negative memories may stem afflictive mental process thereby becoming a catalyst for feelings of hate. At times it may just be the disadvantaged position, against which extreme disgust is exhibited. At other, it may be the satisfaction of spuriously inflated ego through the display of the expression that I am better suited for the position or situation in which the other person is. It is jealousy factor which usually stems from an inferiority complex. It might have been infused by the situational disadvantage and is playing out. When one is caught up in distorted mindset, loses self-control and renders his perspective narrower this kind of behavior is displayed.

The influences of the formative period are very crucial. Archetypes, Heroes and Villains are of utmost relevance. Human traits are usually shaped around these characters. The sense of liking and disliking may similarly be shaped by peers, parents and cultures. It may even be genetic, though confused with innate traits. These influences become the determinant of the trajectory of lives and hallmarks of personalities. This kind of behavior, just because of some chance semblance, may also play out even against those whom one has never met. To remedy one must delve into the past with open mind; which most probably would be the moot point for such behavior.

Correct identification and then acknowledgment of the causes is the key to remedy.

Anxiety.  Sudden-Burst. A spate of Anger. Snapping.

All these behavioral expressions are the result of an afflictive mental process or derivative thereof called-derivative affliction. The reasons for these distortions are not different from those discussed above. However, some of these conditions are more intense and could be harmful; in terms of health, self-infliction or the violence meted out to others. Snapping and sudden bursts reflect the tipping point in one’s state of mind. The root cause of this behavioral pattern may be multifaceted. It may stem from certain words, expression of dominance, threat, insult, humiliation, helplessness, fear of loss of face or integrity. It has become the norm; given the present socio-economic conditions and the prevalence of self-righteousness that people lose equanimity rather quickly and become ensnarled in rash behavior. Sometimes it is termed as -”Anxiety attack”. If this behavior is not checked properly and timely, it could entail wide-ranging complications.

Negativity. Bitterness.

These attitudes stem from the deprivation or nonachievement. Their cause may be lack of opportunities which keeps one deprived of achievement or excellence. These may have also been destined due to surrounding milieu or other people. These, more often than not, pervade in class bifurcated societies where the inculcated hatred against the better off provides a feeding ground. When someone better-off or seemingly so is seen in an uneven environ, the reaction on the part of the worse-off may show up as change of countenance, negative/abusive comments or even manhandle. Remedy! Introspection- once the reason is understood and acknowledged it would become easy to ward-off these tendencies. 

Identification and Acknowledgement is a panacea.

Fear of Poverty or Deprivation.

Past experience of deprivation or poverty leaves indelible scars on the human mind. It is immensely detrimental and forces one, according to the axiom, to even forsake one’s core belief. It has exoteric and esoteric dimensions. It is a duel between firm belief and logical (at times even illogical) reasoning. The conclusion would depend on one’s conviction and mindset. Here I may, however, take the liberty to lean towards the esoteric side and would like to postulate that we humans do not have much of latitude (free Will) therefore rightfully succumb to destiny. I would, therefore, unflinchingly, affirm my belief in destiny. It preempts all apprehensions of poverty and deprivation. Peace and tranquility lie in frictionless sailing. Go with the flow, do what He makes us do. Thereby one becomes fearlessly brave and sagacious. Bitterness is often the result of the sustained struggle to get out of the vicious life circle. It leaves a person perpetually prone to fear which is displayed through bitterness at the muddled event horizon of life. Acceptance of predestination perhaps is the best remedy. Otherwise proper professional treatment would be the best suggestion.

Panicking when faced with the unexpected situation.

At times, it happens that one becomes agitated, defensive, apologetic or even aggressive when faced with an unexpected situation. The reason often is unpreparedness which results in any of the situations described. It may be that one is not having an appropriate answer to the question raised. One may not be having the knowledge of the topic raised or one may not be in a position to answer or explain in the existing situation. The worst could be the fear of losing one’s face and integrity.

The best remedy is that before embarking on any encounter one should be ready for such a situation and a suitable response. The process of forethought would not only muster the confidence to face the situation but would also provide audacity to extricate. A deep breath and a momentary thoughtful pause would also be helpful in recollecting oneself before offering an appropriate response. Honest solution nevertheless would be to thrash out the weaknesses and make them up. Always be well prepared.

Mendacity (Oldest & Mother of all moral turpitudes)

This trait was the very first step towards human indignation when Prophet Adam was lied to about the forbidden fruit. It unceasingly coagulates innumerable vices. The tendency to lie is a derivative of fear or greed. When a situation needs to be avoided or availed, camouflaging the true motivation, use of an unwarranted lie becomes obvious. We have become complacently habituated for its huge efficacy. It is used extensively and fearlessly without even a thought of any repercussion. Lying is a self-deceiving technique. It ultimately culminates in disgrace. The old saying goes without saying that Honesty is the best policy.

 

Disclaimer: No responsibility is assumed as this essay does not offer any professional advice or treatment. Empirical observations if used would be at one’s own risk and responsibility.            Comments, critique, Questions could be posted @ shakir2.wordpress.com

 


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