Posts Tagged ‘Ultimate pleasure of Allah’

Is Wife a Sex- Slave?

August 29, 2019

Image result for pic of a worried Muslim woman

“A Muslim wife must not refuse to satisfy the sexual urges of her husband as and when demanded”

There seems to be some misunderstanding here; in justification whereof; often quoted verses, in addition to some ahadith are; –

1 “Man is a degree above them (women) [in authority and responsibility] …women be devoutly obedient” (Q, 4:34)

2 “Your women are a tillage for you; so, come unto your tillage as you wish”.    (Q, 2:223)

This dissertation may be better understood by trifurcating into; Psychophysical, behavioral and spiritual segments, successively.

Authentic ahadith, in essence, make a woman obligated to fulfill her husband’s sexual desires as and when demanded and should not refuse. (unnecessarily)

Here are two things to be borne in mind that; keeping husband satisfied would endure and perpetuate the marital and family life. It is also in consonance with a woman’s exhortative libidinal wanderlust. It is hard to imagine that a woman; who is lured into sexual overture by a legitimate partner; would not be thrilled to jump on it unless inhibited by some stone-cold reason?

Women, especially of the feminist mindset, interpret these verses/ahadith; suggestive of women’s “obligation”, as if these have enforced some kind of bondage or sex slavery.

A general tendency, often exhibited, is that we take a verse/hadith in Isolation and interpret it in black and white!

Islam (through Qura’anAhadith and Sunnah) molds human behavior to employ rationality, reason, logic and somewhat common sense (to harness one’s understanding and interpretation) to achieve the ultimate goal; through habituated behavior of obedience/compliance, a successful end of the sojourn. {coerced compliance would make the whole edifice come to naught}

“Had your Lord willed, all the people on earth would have believed. So can you [Prophet] compel people to believe?”(Q,10:99)

There are many traditions emphasizing upon the importance of legitimate sexual satisfaction, of both the partners equally (including for pleasure). Legitimate sexual-activity attains the station of worship, sadaqah and sunnah.

I wonder if there is any hadith/sunnah whereby Prophet is known to have ever forced any of his wives for sex?

CARDINAL RULE

One ought to; take the cumulative-contextual-sense of all the verses on the topic/issue; take the common(contextual) theme of the authentic ahadith  {which must be in conformity with the Qura’anic dictum}; then get to the gist/essence of the injunction, reposing one’s trust in Allah (SWT) to guide him on the right course. (Q, 2: 85 & 4: 150) [Ijtihad/Personal Ijtihad]

Note: – Every hadith; like Qura’anic verse; is necessitated by a context; which must be correctly established, for its correct understanding and application. 

In regard to the wife’s “obligation” to husband’s sexual satisfaction; one should keep the following things in mind; 

A wife’s sexual-satisfaction is similarly obligatory on the husband.

Compassionate, good treatment of women is commonplace in the Qura’anAhadith and Sunnah.

Moderation in behavior is the hallmark of Islamic teachings.

Ultimate pleasure sought/desired, through various acts/abstinences, is of Allah (SWT).

Therefore, the sexual satisfaction of the husband by his wife does not become mandatory/compulsory in all the circumstances but congruous, cogent and permissible ones, garnering the ultimate pleasure/blessings of Allah. Hence the verse is suggestive/advisory of the obligation; without making it mandatory in disregard of the behavioral or circumstantial swings; discounting the botched concept of bondage/slavery of a devoutly obedient wife. {Vindicated by the proscription of the sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman}It is a state of impurity; so, keep away from the women in the state of menstruation, and do not approach them until they are cleansed (Q, 2:222)

Marital rape/forced-sex

Woman having been granted the highest status; such as; the mother of the Prophets; the mother of the faithful; cannot be imagined, to having been made slavishly subservient to the indecorous sexual urges of the husband.

Some scholars try to justify the sexual-satisfaction-right of the husband; even when secured through coercion, by using an apparently formidable but in reality, an untenable argument.  The justification generally presented; in denial/suppression of woman’s feelings, dignity and free-will; is the pleasure of Allah (SWT); which no Muslim would normally dare, differ with or challenge!

In my humble opinion; sexual satisfaction obtained by coercing one’s wife, as if she is a lump of dead meat; in the face of the man having multiple options/rights of divorcing, having more than one wife and marrying another woman, cannot be justified. On the other hand; the woman who is not inclined/agreeable to having sex with the husband, must be having a sound reason(s) (psychological or physical incongruity) for it. Therefore, forcing her would not make her either in obedience/compliance of the desires of the husband or of the will of Allah (SWT). Neither will there be a sense of satisfaction/fulfillment on the part of the husband (normally derived from the mutuality/consensual participation of the two); but mere ejaculation, coupled, most likely, with remorse and guilt.

{The emphasis placed; on the compassion; hygienics; good smell and foreplay, therefore, tacitly predicates for a consensual/participatory sex} 

 

Further reading on the topic of women;

https://shakir2.wordpress.com/2018/01/11/a-womans-place-in-islam/

https://shakir2.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/muslim-women-marrying-non-muslim-men/

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